Sunday, July 14, 2013

Balloons-- 2nd Place Winner of Library Club Poetry Contest-- November 2012.

BALLOONS
by Ella Draven

Your words are balloons.
Your pneumatic yarns fill your rubber bags of color,
Expanding their size and giving them rise.
I run to catch them while you run off to catch another,
And you still want me to hold on to your balloons.

This new bunch is so beautiful!
They move about with the slightest gust, touching and rubbing each other,
They whisper sweet moans from the painful friction,
Their wanton cavorting is enough to fill me with hot air
And give in to the proposition of this dubious affair.

But your words are balloons.
The pneumatic currents will just blow them away.
 The heat will warp and expand those sacs until
They explode into bits of take-backs and alibis,
And I will be left with the carcasses of elastic lies.

But you still offer only balloons. 
You invite me to the party that no one attends.
The balloons invite me to their waltz, yet my feet are full of lead.
The streamers and lights are so festive, and they cause me to ache.
There is nothing to celebrate when promises break.

So keep your balloons.
  My words flow to the rhythm of the zephyr;
I marvel at their beauty as they fly with grace.
I bid them farewell as they move west of Forever,
As they ride along gently with the pneumatic pace.
So I will leave you to your endless race.
No, you won’t ever see my face:
I’m too busy… releasing my own balloons.



My Vision...


My Vision
by Ella Draven

As I stepped out the door, waiting to encounter new adventures for the day

I met with a familiar object- my heart stopped and it took my breath away

It brought the memory of excitement and anticipation for the new

So I forgot the urgency of the moment and took a much better view

Its ebony tone and its non-imposing fascia reminded me of my ease

How the serenity of your presence quelled the shaking in my knees

I walked about its perimeter, looking for any identical sign

That would tell me you were here, and I could leave the day behind

We'd go out chasing rainbows to find the elusive pot of gold

Then travel the galaxies together, until we were frail and old

We'd uncover great new mysteries, and share them with our kind

Then return to the great unknown, and see what's left for us to find

You would teach me of the future, and I'd remind you of the past

For when these lessons merge together, the fields of wisdom are vast

The sun would at last retire, and the moon would make her regal rise

We'd lie hand-in-hand looking towards the skies

Listening to the songs of the wolves' amorous cries

Then you'd look into my eyes

And I'd see no better prize

Than the stillness of the night and the warmth from your embrace

The indulgence of satisfying our desires for each other's taste

Enveloped in the reverie of discovering one last feat

The finding of that one that makes your life complete.......


Just as I felt the sweet taste of you upon my lips

The firmness of your hands set upon my hips

As you drew me closer and I touched the heavens and divine

We'd declare with certainty that I was yours and you were mine

Time and space would wash away to openness and bliss

And I'd know right then I 'd want no other kiss...


But my vision was broken with the sound of a growl

It was the object dashing off, leaving only its echoing howl

I recalled the reality of time, and that you're not here yet

There are milestones that still must be met

But I will walk that path, slow and steady in my way

Knowing that I'll get to you that one fine day

And when I do, there will be no question or doubt in my mind

That you are the one I was always meant to find.



(Fear not my words, they will not suffocate nor leave you behind

They are only ideas and dreams-- the life's-blood of my kind.)

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Domino Effect

THE DOMINO EFFECT
 by Ella Draven

            Danny could hardly contain his excitement.  His anticipation for this day had been building for four months and now October 25th was here. Danny and his three best friends, Marco, Sam, and Cesar, were loading up Marco’s multi-colored Civic hatchback, just about ready to leave for Andalusia, Alabama, for the World Championship Domino Tournament. The four friends had gotten together many nights under many moons to talk, joke, and argue while playing dominoes in Cesar’s garage. Danny and his boys had been friends since elementary school, and they all looked so much alike—short, faded haircuts, medium-brown skin, skinny builds with long arms and legs—that most people thought they were brothers. They had attended the same schools all the way up through high school, and even had their graduation pictures taken together.  They’d always said that they would marry quadruplet girls and have one big wedding together; and Marco’s mother even joked that their first children would probably all be born on the same day.   
There were many times when Marco had given Danny rides to school, or when Sam had invited him over for dinner when Danny’s parents didn’t make it home most nights, or when Cesar had given him a place to crash when the drama got to be too much. This was Danny’s opportunity to pay them back for all the times they’d been there for him and made him feel like he was still a part of someone’s family instead of an employee. Also, he felt the time had come to test their skills as professional dominoes players—and to take a long-needed vacation from living under the enormous shadow cast by an ever-present ghost.
Bobby, Danny’s older brother, worked with their father, Roberto, for a small gardening business. He was prized by his Danny’s parents, especially Roberto, for being such a hard worker; even after dropping out of school at 15 to work full-time.  Danny was the scholar of the family who brought home good grades, art awards and special recognitions for his citizenship and humanitarian services, but still felt like he lived in Bobby’s shadow.  His mother Delia’s adoration was always just out of reach-- while Bobby was greeted with smiles and affection every day after work, Danny would come home to a sandwich on the table and Delia talking on the phone. There was a huge dinner and celebration with aunts and uncles when Bobby gained three new clients for the business, but only a handshake when Danny graduated as the valedictorian for his middle school class. Although that dark space in Danny’s sunlight was vast, he never felt anger towards his big brother. He looked to Bobby as a hero just like any little brother would; he followed him around, waiting for the chance to be like Bobby.
During the summer before his 15th birthday, Danny’s nubile curiosity led him into sneaking out to follow Bobby and his girlfriend, Josie, to an abandoned tract of land filled with trees. He wanted to scare them as he often did when Roberto and Bobby came home from work every night. He climbed a large tree a few yards from where Bobby and Josie lay, and quietly jumped from limb to limb until he found one directly over the kissing lovers. As he made silent gagging faces while they sucked face, what Danny discovered next wove a secret into his psyche that froze his orbit of earth: the image of his big brother drawing a needle and a tiny envelope, shimmering in the moonlight, from the utility pocket of his green cargo shorts. In the dark Danny couldn’t make out what the envelope contained, but when Josie tied a ribbon to Bobby’s arm while Bobby burned a spoon with his lighter, the bright fire melted away Danny’s doubts into the clear liquid. Bobby shot up into his arm with the needle and then, rolling up the sleeve on Josie’s red shirt tight enough to serve as a tourniquet, and did the same to her. 
Danny sat quietly on his bough above their heads as they slumped down, catching his tears so they wouldn’t rain down over their euphoria.  He watched as they did this 3 more times during the night, until they’d both stopped moving.  When it seemed like they’d fallen asleep, Danny slowly climbed down and sat down Indian-style between the two lifeless bodies holding hands.  He turned to look at their sinking faces, holding his hand over their mouths and feeling no breath.   He hugged his legs, allowing his tears to saturate his dirty jeans, and looked up at the giant tree over them. He saw their initials surrounded by a jagged heart carved into the tree: RM+JC. Danny got up and punched the carving in the tree until his knuckles bled, and kicked Josie’s corpse in the stomach, screaming, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you….”

Danny worked every day the last six months running the business he helped build with Roberto after he graduated from high school. Roberto, his father, lost his job with the gardeners after his depression accelerated his drinking habits, so he began to work for himself. Once Danny had joined the family business, he expanded beyond gardening to full landscaping, and now had begun a new venture in brush and tract clearing. An old friend of Roberto’s had thrown their names in for bid on a contract with an up-and-coming Lamborghini dealership to clear tracts of land for 3 locations.  After winning the bid and negotiating the deal, Danny hit pay dirt and could not only pay for all their entries, but also a road trip from L.A. to Andalusia. Of course, he would have to do much of the work since his Roberto was more interested in how many bottles of Buchanan’s Scotch he could afford now with this big payoff.  Roberto’s priorities of being a husband and father had changed along with Delia’s, and now they would be much too busy with feeding their ever-growing addictions. 
When Danny reached the final tract, he found that it was the open land where Bobby’s tree was. The client had asked for this particular tract be cleared of all its trees save for one—the tree with the carving of the initials.  The eccentric client wished to keep it because she valued the sentiment of such a carving and thought it would bring good luck to her business. I wouldn’t bet on that, Danny thought to himself.
  When the clearing of the land was complete, Danny reflected on the sole tree drooping with sorrow after having witnessed all its brothers chopped down and thrown into the wood chipper. He noticed the branches eerily swaying, as if to reach for their family’s remains, whose trunks were piled and ready to be sold for firewood. Trees don’t have feelings, he thought. It’s my guilt for clearing such a beautiful space, and I’m tired as hell. My eyes are just playing tricks on me. He ran his hand over the carving, remembering the sirens and flashing lights, the gurneys and black bags, and the anguished weeping from his mother. He felt the pulse of pressure in his foot when he recalled the sandbag-impact of meeting his black Chuck Taylor shoe to Josie’s stiffening gut. “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you…” every syllable moved through his mind, and thumped the ball in his throat to the rhythm. Good riddance. Maybe this is the closure I need.
Goodbye Bobby, he imparted to the tree one last time.
  
The night Danny had told the boys about the tournament, he’d taken them all out to dinner at El Tepeyac and ordered Manuel’s monster burritos and beers for all.  Marco had been surprised to see Danny pick up the whole check and had asked what the deal was.
“Well amigos, I have some news that will finally get you all to shut your big trompas,” Danny said proudly.
“What,” Sam said with a smirk, “You found a viejita who wants to make you her boy toy and leave you all her money when she dies?” The other guys cackled in unison.
“No, but I might find one in Andalusia, because that’s where we’re all going,” Danny retorted, beaming with pride.
The three friends all stopped laughing, and turned to stare at Danny. He pulled out the tickets and paperwork for the tournament. They passed the papers around to each other, each touching their names on the contracts like they were etched in gold.
“Holy shit, Danny!” Cesar finally responded, still in utter shock at the news. “How the hell did you manage to pull this off…? Hold on… Is this why we haven’t seen much of you throughout the summer?”
“Yup! This is my gift to you all, and a chance to finally put your money where your mouths are. Now, stop staring at me like you all want to make out with me, and let’s celebrate!”
            Before the celebration began, he had them all sign their final contracts.  The following morning, Danny mailed out their paperwork. It’s official.
            For the next few weeks, they spent every night in Cesar’s garage playing dominoes and plotting their strategy. When the day had finally arrived, the boys were loading up the tiny car when Marco’s mother came out, her hands full with the lunch bags she prepared for her boys.  Danny’s mouth began to water when he smelled the salt-seasoned aroma of the beans coming from his burritos in the brown sack.
 “Estan listos, hijos?” she asked.
            “Si, Ma, we’re ready. You didn’t put garlic in mine, did you? Last time I bit into the ajo, and my breath smelled for a week,” Marco whined from under the hood of the car.
            “That’s because you never brush your teeth, cochino!” Sam yelled from the backseat of the car, where he had been helping Cesar arrange their backpacks and Igloo chillers so they’d all fit inside the car. After they had a good laugh at Marco’s expense, and Marco’s mother had given them a bendicion for a safe trip, the four friends piled into the car.  The muffler gruffly scraped the ground as they backed out of the driveway and, with a good-bye honk and four skinny, brown hands waving from all windows, they were off.
            A few hours later, the drive was going better than Danny ever dreamed: they sang the songs they knew that came from the fuzzy radio, and even began making up new lyrics to songs they didn’t know or couldn’t hear over the buzzing.  Sam and Cesar sat in the backseat, planning their attack on the tournament, while Marco drove and Danny navigated. The boys had previously planned all the stops they would make along the way and were quite excited to get to the first destination point: Tempe, AZ. They were making good time, had just missed rush-hour traffic, and now the sun was beginning to set behind them.  Danny closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, relishing the wind hitting his face from the half-open window.  He took a deep breath of the dry desert air and gazed out at the kaleidoscopic horizons of the oncoming Arizona desert—such amazing hues of orange, blue, and purple skies, the robust browns, reds, and grays of the desert, the brilliant yellow of the dead-end sign… Wait, dead end sign?
            “Marco, STOP!” Danny yelled out, and Marco slammed on the brakes.  Sam and Cesar, who had fallen asleep in the backseat, were suddenly jolted awake by the sound of the tires screeching and nearly catapulted through the windshield.
            “Danny, que te pasa, guey! What the hell is your problem? You almost made me crash into the ditch!”  Marco yelled, still panicked at almost becoming the meat in a metal sandwich.
            “Dude! You didn’t see that dead end sign? You’re going the wrong way!” Danny shot back. 
            What dead end sign? We’re on a HIGH-WAY!” Marco argued while he pulled over to the side of the road. “Look, pendejo—it says HIGH-W… Wait, where’s the sign?”
            They all jumped out of the car to look around. Danny ran back to look at the sign post and was confused when there was nothing posted on the sign. “What the hell is going on? This said ‘dead end’ before. Now it’s blank.”
            Cesar, irritated by having been awakened by near-death, ripped into Danny. “You’re supposed to be the navigator! How did you miss Marco driving off the highway?”
             “I didn’t drive off the highway! I haven’t gotten off anywhere. This dumb-ass is seeing things, and he’s trying to get us all killed!” Marco snapped back.
            Danny’s head began to spin, and he started to feel nauseous. “I SWEAR this sign said ‘dead end’… I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t feel so welllll…” He felt his face and hands grow cold and, as his body crumpled and fell to the ground, the world turned white before his eyes.
            Brightness. Where is everyone?
            When Danny opened his eyes, he no longer saw his friends, the road, or the car. He awoke on the most comfortable bed he’d ever laid upon.  He slowly picked his head up from the cloud-like pillows and realized he was surrounded by gray, murky water.  He shot up all the way in the bed, bewildered as he looked around.  He was in a strange place, like a world he’d seen on a Dodo episode of Looney Tunes. The sky was a sick greenish-gray color, and his nose was swamped with the smell of hot metal and garlic that came up from the water that gently rippled beneath him.
            “Where the hell am I?” he said out loud, but there was no one around to answer him.
            He swung his feet around and off of the bed, and after feeling for solid ground between him and the low level of water, he stood up.  He began wandering around, looking for the guys.
            “Marco!” No response.
            “Sam!” Still nothing.
            “Cesar!” Dead silence.
            The ground began to slightly tremble and the water, which had previously only been slightly rippling, began to turn into larger waves, tossing around up to his knees. He held on to the bedpost to keep from falling into the water.  Once the shaking died down a little and he gained his footing, he began wandering around. He was scared to death of this foreign place, worried for his missing friends, wanting to find someone—anyone—who could give him answers. Becoming increasingly frustrated, he began yelling out into space at no one.
            “Where am I? Is there anyone here? What am I doing here! Someone please tell me what the fuck is going on! Can anyone hear me! Answer me, God Dammit!” Danny’s throat began to tighten, around the lump that formed. What will Delia think if no one finds me? What about Roberto? Everything I worked for will be washed away. I have to find a way out of here.
            Suddenly, he heard the faint sound of a woman’s voice singing a shrill tune and began running toward where he thought it was coming from.  With the ground trembling under his feet and the sky beginning to turn red, he ran and ran for what seemed like hours. He looked down and realized that the water began to turn a dark blood-red in reflection of the sky.  He gasped loudly and began to run faster. He ran so fast he covered an extraordinary amount of ground in only a few minutes. The ground stopped shaking, and the sudden stop nearly knocked Danny off his feet. As he stopped to regain his balance, that’s when he saw the woman.
            She levitated in the sky while lying on an enormous clock with no hands.  She had long, black hair with pale grayish skin, and wore a red, sheer curtain over the mid-portion of her body. She was still singing, softly and slowly, and Danny inched closer to the red shadow her bed-clock cast on the swaying water. He stretched his ears to try to figure out what she was singing, but he still couldn’t make it out. As he drew closer, he began to make out the woman’s face. Josie?
            “Josie! What are you doing here? Why aren’t you dead?”
            Josie didn’t seem to respond to Danny’s questions; in fact, her song got louder.   
            “Excuse me,” he shouted, “I don’t want to interrupt you but, can you tell me where I am, and how to get back to my friends?” When she gave no sign that she’d heard him, he continued.  “Can you hear me at all? Where’s Bobby? Tell me!”
            The volume rose louder, and louder, till she hit a piercing note that stung his eardrums.  Danny covered his ears and tried to run back to the bed, but couldn’t find it.  As he went into full panic mode, with his breath beginning to run out and his heart beating out of his chest, he looked back to see if he’d made any distance from the screaming Josie, and SPLAT! He ran right into a giant tree. He fell on his back and made a slapping splash in the bloody garlic water. He looked up at what he had run into and immediately recognized Bobby’s tree from the newly-cleared tract. As he gawked at the tree, it lowered its branches down around him tightly and enveloped him until he was completely covered in its leaves.   Now completely terrified, he knelt down in the water, unable to run, his tears streaming from his fear-stricken face and making ringlets in the small waves.  Danny turned to face the trunk and his face met with the carving right in his face: RM+JC. Danny shrieked out as loud as he could, and began scratching at the carving, ripping off the bark piece-by-piece, yet the carving wouldn’t disappear. The vines enclosed him tighter until he was pressed against the tree.
            “God, please, get me out of here. I swear, I will never kill another tree again, just please let me live. I don’t want to die yet.”  Danny wanted to close his eyes but feared he would never wake up again, so he struggled to keep them open while his vision blurred away. He began to feel faint and nauseous again, and as he faded into darkness, he saw the blur of a pair of green shorts before him.
            “Bobby, it’s dark. Help me. Am I dead?”
            ‘No, you’re not. You have to go back, Danny. Take care of Mami and Pops. They need you.’
            “No! I need you, Bobby! Please, come back…”

Danny woke up again, this time to a slow beeping sound, and found himself in a hospital room. He tried to get up, but felt detached from his body, and he couldn’t move an inch.  He looked around, and realized his head hadn’t moved, just his eyes. He smelled the familiar scent of perfume, beer, and grass. I’m Home, he thought. He inched his eyes over to the corners as much as he could, and saw Delia sleeping on a cot next to him, while Roberto was snoring, with his head tilting way back, in a chair. Danny wanted to get their attention, but couldn’t talk or move. He tried to wiggle around, to get something to move, but nothing was working.
            An elderly doctor walked into his room, and gently tapped Roberto on the shoulder.  He woke with a jolt and a long snort, and then leaned over to wake Delia.  He could only hear muffled words from the doctor, as if he was speaking through a wall. He tried screaming out, but he could only hear his words in his head. I’m here! I’m alive! Look, my eyes are open. Look at me!
            Delia began to cry, and Roberto wrapped his arms around her. The doctor walked over to the side of the bed, and began reading a metal clipboard hanging from his bed.  He desperately tried to move a finger, a toe, his nose, anything. Why can’t he see that my eyes are open?
The doctor scribbled something down on the clipboard, and laid it on Danny’s lap while he felt his legs. Danny began to really panic when he could see the doctor touching him, but couldn’t feel anything. When he finally accepted that he could not move, he diverted his eyes to the clipboard on his lap. He read the underlined words that the diagnosis sheet screamed from the metal clipboard:
            Quadriplegia: severe damage to cervical spinal column. Concussion. Sole survivor of highway accident. Prognosis: unclear.
            Delia sat beside Danny and held his hand between hers and wept. I can feel that! Danny thought to himself. This isn’t permanent! I am going to make it...


            “You hear me, Bobby? I’m going to make it!”